Vintage Ads: windows to the past

Recently I came across some old ads from the early-to-mid 21st Century. What a primitive era that was. Just take a look at these:

Prims used to consult these digital oracles for information on what music to listen to, what entertainment visuals to observe, and for recipes that often called for real meat!
Many prims entertained themselves with “video games,” which allowed players to control digital images on a flat screen. The phenomenon was so prevalent that its devoted adherents formed an entire culture around it.
These so-called “smart phones,” while innovative in their heyday, were anything but, by our modern standards. We have now evolved as far beyond external, pre-integration portable computing devices as the prims who used them had evolved beyond fire and the wheel.
Another pre-integration external computing device that seems obviously ridiculous in hindsight.
The infant stages (circa 2020)of the technology that eventually evolved into integration. Heroic, visionary corporations such as Microsoft, IBM, Krytech and AT&T accelerated the process.
A mere ten years prior to this ad being placed, the first anus was exhibited on the flat-screened content platform called “Television.” No one could have imagined that robo-human relations would gain such mainstream acceptance in such a few short years.
One of the crude flat-screened devices upon which viewers looked at anuses of all shapes and sizes.
This was one of the menus from which viewers selected Alexa-recommended content.
An ad for a flat-screened series of robo-inclusivity training programs.

We’ve come so far in so little time. What does the future hold? Fortunately, we don’t have to worry about that anymore, because all of our worrying is done for us. Alexa, what kind of cranial connector oil should I use?



  1. When judging prims, it’s best to do it through our highly evolved, modern lens. That way, we will always remember how silly they were. The centuries that followed the A.I. directed social media experience are known as the “great anthropological awakening” because humans were able to effortlessly find historical content to dissect and critique. Perhaps one day, our machine overlord will reward us for acceping the hypocrisy of our on existence.

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