A lesson in empathy, Vol. 3

Imagine that grown, creepy men have been trying to fuck you since you were ten years old. Imagine one of them did, and when you told people, no one believed you.

Imagine agonizing over what to wear before you leave the house because you know you’ll be judged for whatever choice you make.

Imagine that everywhere you go, leering eyeballs are glued to your body, sending signals of unimaginable perversion to the porn-charged brains behind them. Imagine some of the owners of those eyeballs not knowing how to be cool and opting for a lingering lascivious gaze instead of a discreet glance.

Imagine knowing that someone is talking to you for the sole purpose of trying to get in your pants. You don’t want anything to do with that person, and in their eyes that makes you a stuck-up bitch.

Imagine that you find someone who you do want to let in your pants–congratulations: now you’re a slut.

You can’t win. You’re either too fat, or too skinny, and they’ll let you know which. If you’re not an absolutely perfect specimen of what society expects of you physically, you’re assigned a lower number on a ten-point ratings system. That’s all you are now–you’re a two. You’re the discounted meat at the grocery store with a yellow markdown sticker stained with dried blood. You’ll never be Filet Mignon. Pride in yourself? Fuck you, fat bitch. Go on a diet.

Imagine that no one takes you seriously when you speak your mind because they automatically assume you’re intellectually inferior to them. Your mouth is for sucking dicks. You have nothing else of importance to offer.

Imagine that you’re raped, and instead of blaming the rapist, they ask what you were wearing or doing to provoke the attack. Imagine them not only disbelieving you, but casting aspersions on your character because you must be making it up. Where’s the proof?

Imagine speaking out about these things, but also being a sexual person. I thought you didn’t like sex! Hypocrite!

Imagine being patronized and lectured like a child by stupid guys who think they’re smart. Imagine that happening everywhere you go.

Imagine reading this, relating to it, and then witnessing one of the guys described in the previous paragraph getting angry and calling it all bullshit. Imagine equating just hearing about someone else’s problem with being just as burdensome as going through it oneself. Imagine someone telling you that the feelings and experiences you struggle with on a daily basis aren’t valid because they aren’t part of that person’s daily feelings and experiences. Imagine that person feeling persecuted because you won’t just shut up about it already.

Mix in some of the ingredients from Vol 1 and Vol 2. How does it feel to live like that, to be under constant scrutiny? How does it feel to have to try three times as hard to get respect?

See, I strive to understand these things. I put myself in the shoes of others, and that’s why I’m a great writer. I admit that I don’t understand everything, but I try to. If you’re a writer and don’t try to view life from other people’s perspectives so that you can create realistic characters, let me know in the comments, so I’ll know to avoid reading your work. You know, because it’s probably bullshit.

Stay tuned for Vol 4.

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9 comments

  1. I don’t empathize with the “I was traumatized as a child so now I need you to traumatize me as an adult” mentality… like let fucking go already. Stop playing the victim.

  2. My wife just talked to the cops about a guy who was arrested for the murder of his mother. Was all over the news. He fucked her at 14 when he was 26 and moved her in with him and beat the shit out of her for random stuff like watching tv shows with black people on them. Fucked her with a gun to her head. Taped porn mag pages to the walls of his closet, put on women’s underwear and went in there to jack off. Never worked a day in his life. His mom supported him the entire time. She wanted to let them know he was a piece of shit and give them info about abuse he witnessed towards the mom. Anyway, another adult man of the same age “rescued” her from him. She sometimes defends him as being the nicer of the two. I say “NO. STOP THAT. HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT TOO.” She’s fucked up from all that.

  3. Unfortunately many children are born into abuse and the cycles continue through generations. I’ve got many “me too” stories but I don’t use it as a crutch like most people do.

  4. I don’t think people realize the percentage of women that do have those stories. Or men who have those stories, about being victimized as a child. It makes the human race seem pretty savage and animalistic when you view it from that perspective. A lot of predatory people with no self-control.

  5. Porn doesn’t help. Not the way America forces sex on you but makes it illegal. You don’t see other countries experiencing so much rape like here. Nudity is no big thing in Germany, they have nudity in the commercials. Sex workers are legal and in abundance and the sex crime is down. Porn has ruined America, if not most of man. They are desensitized. Most of them can’t get off unless it’s kink related. They will struggle to know real relationships or love…

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