School shootings have become a hot trend, like hover boards, Pokémon Go and eating ass.
Can’t fix it, so why not make the most of it? Corporatize that shit! I can see it now–Monster Energy presents: EVERYBODY DIES 2019! Tickets via Ticketmaster, $85 plus service fee.
Coordinate with the shooters. Get them to wear outfits with logos all over them, like NASCAR.
How ’bout a Pepsi Summer Shooting Series Sweepstakes? That sounds like fun! Visit Pepsi.com and Enter promo code under cap for a chance to win cash, ammo, bulletproof vests and more!
So many missed opportunities. The market is WIDE OPEN! Get on that shit, corporations of ‘Murrica! We crave exploitation! Give it to us!
Patrick Walts 
ohmyfuckinggod Patrick LMAO 😆
The only true American tragedy is a missed financial opportunity.
Pfizer sets up a tent around the media circus to give out free samples of viagra because it’s not easy staying hard at times like these.
For us peasants maybe, but for the powers that be, I think this is a time of constant erection.