Why not?

School shootings have become a hot trend, like hover boards, Pokémon Go and eating ass.

Can’t fix it, so why not make the most of it? Corporatize that shit! I can see it now–Monster Energy presents: EVERYBODY DIES 2019! Tickets via Ticketmaster, $85 plus service fee.

Coordinate with the shooters. Get them to wear outfits with logos all over them, like NASCAR.

How ’bout a Pepsi Summer Shooting Series Sweepstakes? That sounds like fun! Visit Pepsi.com and Enter promo code under cap for a chance to win cash, ammo, bulletproof vests and more!

So many missed opportunities. The market is WIDE OPEN! Get on that shit, corporations of ‘Murrica! We crave exploitation! Give it to us!



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