1999 was the year I first started coming here. Limp Bizkit was massively popular and the moviegoing public was eagerly awaiting The Phantom Menace.

I was a Virgin.

I met a woman, married her, divorced her, married another. Still here.

I was here during 9/11. I was here during five presidential elections.

I’ve seen people come and go, and I’ve even seen a few people hang in there as long as myself.

I was in my early 20s the day I first set foot in his place, and now I’m 41.

I’ve had five pets who lived long, spoiled lives and died happy, all the while still here.

I’ve fucked 22 women.

I’ve written two books.

I’ve gotten really fat and really skinny.

My whole life is this place; I’m chained to it, and I’m so tired of looking at the same old things every day that I could just puke sometimes.

There has to be more. There has to be happiness, somewhere.


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