1. Celtic Frost- Procreation of the Wicked
Anyone who doesn’t agree with this one needs to have his ears checked. This is a painfully slow, lumbering, sludgy, sloppy masterpiece of sheer heaviness.
2. Black Sabbath- Under the Sun
That’s what I’m talkin’ about. This song just stomps flat everything in its path. A youtube vid doesn’t do it justice. You must play it on a big fuckin’ stereo with bass and shit to fully appreciate the heaviness. And they did it all without pro-tools and all that shit that the bands you will argue are heavier have at their disposal. This whole album would be heavy played on an acoustic guitar. If you look up “heavy” in the dictionary, matter of fact, it should just show a pic of the Vol 4 album cover. No words, all you need is the pic, and that explains it all.
3. Metallica-The Thing That Should Not Be
Metallica was the Black Sabbath of the eighties, period. You can front and be like, “Meh, they were always overrated anyway,” but fuck you. If they weren’t one of the greatest bands of all time, you wouldn’t devote 90% of your time talking about how mediocre they are now. The live version below, from the Live Shit Binge and Purge boxed set is one of the greatest pieces of music ever recorded.
4. Sepultura- Territory
When I play this in my car, I can’t help making a really angry face during the chorus and growling “War for territooooooorrrrry!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of my lungs.
5. Metal Church- Start the Fire
Next to “We’re not Gonna Take It,” this is the ultimate “Fuck you, mom and dad!” song. But it’s way heavier than WNGTI, which is why it is on this list. That riff is just so fucking EVIL.
6. Entombed- Wolverine Blues
The guitars themselves are heavy enough, but the bass just growls like a pitbull that’s been fed a steady diet of gunpowder all of its life. Most everything Entombed has done is heavy as fuck, barring the “experimental” years, but this song is just vicious as fuck. It makes me want to kill you. Yes, you, personally.
7. Slayer- Gemini
Arguably Slayer’s heaviest song. They don’t usually slow down like this and get all super-heavy, but they did here and that is a good thing. It was the sole new track on an album full of punk covers, and doesn’t fit at all with the rest of the material, but it kicks all kinds of ass and I’m glad they included it on there.
8. Electric Wizard- Dopethrone
Anything by Electric Wizard will destroy your speakers if you’re not careful. They’re just that fuckin’ heavy. Case in point:
Holy shit, everything about this is heavy. Rob’s voice is certainly at his heaviest and most powerful here, demonstrating that he’s a master of both the high and low vocal registers. This is why he’s called “The Metal God,” y’see. He can do it all. Oh yeah, and the music itself is heavy as fuck.
10. Morbid Angel-Where the Slime Live
Youtube won’t let anyone upload this song, for some reason. It must be too fuckin’ heavy for them, and they’re afraid people will be crushed by the heaviness. So go look it up if you’re not already familiar with it. I’ll just post “God of Emptiness” instead, which is massively heavy itself.